Interview with Anne the Intern

Anne was an intern during the production of “The Dino Room”. In this interview, she talks about her experiences, chances for personal growth as well as shattered dreams during that exciting time.

Interviewer: Anne, I’m sure the process of scoring this internship was highly competitive. Walk us through it.

Actually no. It was based on pure nepotism. First of all, I was good friends with Leo and Elvira before, and we also support the same football team. Also, I knew that both of them had a crush on me, so they couldn’t really say no when I applied.

I see, I see. Well, did this romantic energy in the team benefit the creative process?

Not really. I didn’t actually see a lot of creativity to begin with. I thought there would be really cool stuff, like inventing new dinosaur species, filming with two different cameras, actual greenscreens and so on. But no, they just made a lame scene-for-scene, full-length rip-off of the greatest masterpiece that was ever made. Ok, they thought of dinosaur-themed jokes. Metroid, friend or foe? Haha. But that’s about it.

Ok Anne.. Enough with the positive stuff. Let’s talk about the bad, worse and ugly. Was Cocaine ever used on set?

I have to be honest here. Cocaine was never used by any part of the human team. However, the dinosaursr themselves snorted a lot of powders, white, yellow (after Johnny peed on it), and other colours.

I see. Apart from these escapades, how was it working together with such famous actors?

As it was my first experience in the film industry, I don’t have much to compare with. I was working in McDonald’s before, and compared to the shitshow you see there on a regular night shift, it was a breeze. Lisa was an angel, offering me a slice of her pizza. Johnny mixed me a tasty drink, and Peter (the psychologist) gave me some good life advice for a career change. That’s why didn’t pursue movie-making further, and changed to a career in data science.

Data Science, what a trendy job. I’m sensing that you used the good name of Trex Productions to jump right into a well-paying industry job?

Yes, it was exactly like this.

Now that you are making six figures a month, you are making five figures more than the founders of Trex Productions. Do you sometimes compare yourself to your old bosses? Does that make you proud, or do you rather feel guilty that you sold out so cheaply?

Well, the beauty of ‘The Dino Room’ was that we could achieve a monumental work with rather low-budget. In that sense, real art is never bound by money alone. I rather think the opposite. For example, since I became rich, I don’t really feel creativity anymore. I don’t have time to do silly projects, I rather take a flight to St. Tropez and date other hot and rich people on the beach. But for Elvira and Leo, I know they woudn’t want that lifestyle, for them seeing the YouTube click counter creep up one by one click is all it takes to be happy. Being real artists, they don’t even need a salary, health insurance or financial stability.

Anne, even after all your experiences as an Intern you still have a very romanticised picture of movie-making. Of course, all artists want to be rich and famous, and sadly for the makers of ‘The Dino Room’, this hasn’t worked out yet. Would you be willing to use a small part of your considerable financial resources to buy Facebook ads so more people click on ‘The Dino Room’ or other projects of Trex Productions?

I can’t sorry.

Why is that, then?

Last time I was in St. Tropez, I got really drunk. We rented a helicopter, and flew to Monaco. There, I bet all my money on red, but then another person had a black jack and I lost. Was a fun night though.

Anne, are you still single?

No.

Is any of the makers of the Dino Room still single?

I think not, not the last time I checked.

Ah… Mh, what about the Dino’s themselves? Maybe tell us about how Denny and Claudette started dating?

Well, Denny’s actor got so into it, he basically became Denny. And Denny, as you know, is deeply in love with Lisa, but Lisa just sees him as a friend/son/weird neighbour. And that’s Lisa’s character. Her actress really finds Denny absolutely disgusting. One time she had to throw up just seeing him. Whenever he’s not in a huge cloud of performe, she also throws up smelling him. I think she’s overreacting a bit, but Denny is truly hideous. And that’s a fact. So because of that, he made the most natural move you could think of: As Claudette shares 50% of Lisa’s genes, why not date Claudette?

Ah, that’s actually good dating advice which I should also follow somtimes. Okay then, does Claudette feel used knowing he just wants her because of her 50%ly correct body?

No, Claudette doesn’t feel that way. Claudette is a very rational woman, and she is totally capable of entertaining a twenty-year long marriage with someone she doesn’t like, let alone love. It was the same with Lisa’s father, after all.

Okay, just spinning this a bit further. Would a threesome with Claudette and Denny’s father be just the missing puzzle piece for Denny?

I think you really might be on to something. How can we make this happen?

I don’t know! Mh, do you still have a numbers from the actors?

I do, I do. Who do you wanna call?

Claudette?

Sure thing, let’s ring her up… Riiiing, riiiiing Yeah Claudette, hi, it’s Anne the Intern. Yes, yes, I’m good.. How’s your cancer going? Chemo going well, nice nice. So, about Denny. I know you two are hitting it off, but does he sometimes feel that he’s not 100% satisfied?

All the time? Ah yes, I think I might have an idea why that is. Well, its basically that Denny has a weird crush on Lisa, so he wants to have a threesome with you and Lisa’s dad. Is that something you would be willing to think about?

Oh, so you say you had the same idea and were just too shy to talk about it? Great Claudette, so just don’t hold back! All right, kiss kiss, see you!

Ah, that went well!

Another soul saved!

We’re doing great!

Yes, definetely. But I need to go back on script, there are just so many more questions I wnat to talk about with you.

Don’t hold back, haha.